I think psychologists should begin studying blogging friendships... how it is that you can become so attuned to someone you've never met, and likely will never meet. How it is that over time you could (if lucky enough to be able to travel there) stand on your 'friends' deck... that overlooks a prairie, a river or a valley... and name their horses, or the types of their roses, or where the Turkey Vultures hide... or show you where joy or calamity once struck.
They should study how it is that a person can get enmeshed in that distant environment... how the fireplace crackles in one place, the wind howls in another, the wildfires threaten somewhere else. How the pulse slows or quickens just by reading the words, and seeing the pictures .... because, you've invested so much you might as well be there.
They should peer into the ingredients for 'distant' love... whatever those may be that make us smile when a new critter arrives or a new idea.... like when using the intuitive nature of horses to heal human beings gets set into motion.
And they should study the reaction of the reader/distant friend when illness strikes the writer, and how the distant friend responds. And how that friend can only type out platitudes and are too far away to feed the dogs, carry water to the horses, keep the yurt tidied.
And they should study the writer, who is battling on every front... but is tied to her blog, and her readers and friends there... and why she continues to say.... 'I'm Alright!' when she is probably so tired she can barely breathe.
And they should study the human kindness that makes someone who is close to her post on her blog, that she has gone away and no one expects her to awaken or survive.
And they should study the person who lights another candle, and the other who says another prayer. And the one who frantically searches for the necklace made and given... and wears it to keep her friend close, as if a talisman were necessary.
And, none of us can speak to one another. We were blog commenters... and her blog was set to 'approval'... so....
We all wait.
(All photo's are from Carmon's blog and credit is due there.)
I am so sorry for the pain your friend Carmon is enduring.
ReplyDeleteI also find it amazing how so many people feel so connected to each other through their blogs. The comfort from that must be like a gentle touch when some tragedy blindsides you.
...and I am wondering about your interview...?
Thank you, Violet. And re: the interview? I cancelled it. Good sense won out. There was just no way to get there.
ReplyDeleteMaybe someday.
Thanks for checking in on me.
Dear, dear Robin…the wellspring of genuine friendship is a mystery which no psychologist will ever be able explain—though it is no less real for this lack. It is born amid the vagaries of the human heart, sparked by the harmonic stirrings of a recognized kindred spirit. Physical distance means nothing; no particular spatial juxtaposition limit is required. Instead, it flourishes by connection and communication—which, paradoxically, can forever remain continents apart, and sustain great stretches of utter silence. Perhaps we use the term "friend" too lightly, for true friendship is both uncommon and profound. It allows the intimacy of an open soul, and carries with it the responsibility of trust, understanding, and love. Friends are where we safeguard our dreams, pour out our fears, reveal our doubts, share our joys. Friends keep a part of us with them always…even when we've entered into that land of darkness, or gone beyond, across time's river into eternity. Friendship is a beautiful, wonderful mystery.
ReplyDeleteYou feel the way you do because you are Carmon's friend. You worry, rail, and anguish because you've been blessed by friendship. Alas, maybe all too soon you will have to mourn. But never forget that it is, indeed, a blessing, a gift to be treasured, a conjunction of the highest order. Your feelings validate your friendship. Carmon is lucky; you are lucky. Your friendship burns bright and warm, an internal prayer to the holy mystery of life.
Grizz... you are a balm. Thank you.
ReplyDelete