Moving Again

Can't afford to live here. Truly... don't want to be here. Meander is not loving the three flights.

Place is so small, I can't describe it. Okay. I'll try.

Bedroom will hold the bed and maybe a bookcase. Living room not much bigger. 'Kitchenette' off to one side.

............

I guess I'm growing into some kind of spiritual understanding... (at my age). I had a co-worker who I admire look at some apartments with me.... with the thought of moving in together. He's spent a lot of time with wealthy people and he's earned some bucks himself. Had a home in Florida. Bought one in Eastern Europe with his lover and outfitted it to the nth degree. Had to leave his lover and came back to nothing. Lives with a friend in his 600,000 house.

We were looking at a two bedroom... large view of the lake. It was filthy.... single guy.... never cleaned. But this realty company does clean. Looked at another. Nice. As we walked away, my friend said that he had to stop thinking about where and what he had been.... and then, reneged.

I have been there twice now. I'm about to give up most of what I own. If God is laughing, I'll be there with the ex.

But.... it's not things. It's emotional and spiritual freedom that's important. It's Meander getting to walk right out the front door without stress. It's driving to work with money in the bank.

I'm handling this, but I'm not.

First Days

No pictures yet. Much is still in boxes, though all the books are on the shelves (which is amazing, as I note that I gave away/sold four bookcases worth).

The bed is made, the air conditioner in (thank God, as Friday is supposed to be Hell and I do mean to imply temperature) and the computer is (obviously) set up. All of this is due to Keith. He wouldn't leave on moving day, without those things accomplished.

The move has not been without disaster, however. I am now 65 years old due to aging caused by this....

Jay and I brought Meander to the old place as a pup. It's all he's ever known and it was on the first floor. He had to walk up and down about 8 steps to go out. This place is on the third floor and the steps are different: slanted at the top and bottom and straight through the middle.

I came home the other day with bags in my hand and he rushed past me as I opened the door, and started to go down. My immediate response was to call him back and he tried to obey, and in doing it... fell all the way down the steps. I remember the moment...
standing, listening, steeling myself for whatever... and then running blindly down the flight to find him upright.

There was a lot of hugging and petting. He has a scrape on his leg and one on his head, but so far, he's fine. I, on the other hand, did lose those ten years.

..............

I hope you've accepted my invitation to life here. If you have, thank you for coming.

Hopefully now, I'm over the worst part.

I Say Goodbye, and I Say Hello... Hello, Hello....

(Two days before I moved I woke up, slid out of bed and looked down. Then I nearly cried. The big pot of grass has been there for three years, surrounded by whatever Reva and I planted on the wall. But the red petunia.... I knew was her final gift of flowers in that place. What a wonderful thing.....)

I am sitting in a new room. Keith, the old friend has come up from Kentucky to make sure the computer works, the bed is made...
well, in fact, that the move happened at all.

Deb, as you might remember from Christmas posts popped in to help yesterday, and then overheard me say something that made her decide to stay overnight and climb these three floors quite a few more times than she did yesterday. And she took care of Meander as the BIG move was made..... shuttling him from one apartment to the other to keep him calm.

There is nothing of anything I know, here, and yet I'm a half a block away from five years passed. There are no lake sights and sounds to sleep or wake to... though, when I walk Meander out in the morning it's the first thing I see. There is no soothing friend upstairs.... and there are windows and porches encroaching everywhere I look. Some, ten feet (if that) away.

And yet... I'm home. Everyone who has come in has spontaneously said they like it.... and I've been in some BAD places (for me, anyway) and I've lived somewhere I truly believe was my home in a previous life. This place is neither of those. It just seems to fit the canine and I for the moment and I (at least) am, so far, happy.